Hi Friends and Happy New Year!
In typical fashion, I got into another heated debate with some of my Owner’s friends over the holiday’s. Some of her friends are so thick-headed that it drives me crazy. Seriously. I don’t mind chatting with the vanilla crowd, heck, I even love twisting their minds to see things through a different prism! What I can’t tolerate is simple minded people that will not listen to what you say. I should say, they hear you, but they don’t LISTEN to you.
OK. So here’s the scene, and eventual “discussion” that I had.We’re in a pub, drinking, chatting, and generally being festive. At the point where everyone starts to feel that familiar little alchohol buzz the conversation almost always turns to sex. This time was no different, only I was outnumbered by her friends 3 to 1. There was another guy there, but he’s a quiet lurker type and provided me no back-up at all. Ha Ha Ha…
As most of you know by now, I’m a HUGE orgasm denial and chastity proponent. I have been for most of my adult life. Knowing this, these bitties decided to egg me on into a debate over the topic. I’ll try to describe the back and forth a bit, and hopefully you’ll get the idea. It was me versus my Owner’s 3 friends. She just sat there and watched with a big smile on her face as I verbally jousted with these chicks…..LOL
In no particular order the first bitty says, “As a woman, I find it nice that my efforts in bed are acknowleged with my lover having an orgasm. It lets me know that I’ve done a good job.”
“I agree. If I’m putting the work in to give my man a great blow-job, I want him to show me that it was appreciated by cumming hard.” Said bitty three.
At that point, I took a swig of my beer, sat the bottle down, and said, “I know what your trying to do. You won’t get me into this debate again.”
“C’mom Josh, you have to admit that mutual satisfaction is better for the relationship than just one of you getting to cum all the time. Right?”
“Wrong,” I said. Witholding ones orgasm is a sign of respect, and reverence to honoring ones partners wishes. You can’t compare the two.”
I didn’t mean to get caught up in their stupid game, but I felt the need to stand up for the submissive lifestyle. It’s just who I am. I knew right away that was their game too. All 3 of those hags smirked at each other as soon as the words came out of my mouth.
“I can compare anything that I want to Josh. If I’m riding your cock and you don’t cum, I’m going to be insulted. I’d feel like you didn’t find me attractive.” The second hag said.
“Listen, the lifestyle in the Dominant and submissive world can NOT be compared to the expectations in the vanilla world. It’s completely different standards and rules of intimacy.” I took a long draw on my beer to try and get some silence between us all.
“That’s not true at all Josh. If I’m your wife, and I want you to cum, you will. Otherwise, you’d be insulting me.” The first biddy chimed in.
“Again, if you were in a vanilla relationship that would most likely be true. But if you are submissive, and you are told NOT to cum, you don’t cum. Why is this even a topic?”
“It’s a topic because every man I’ve known has usually shot a load every time we fooled around. What I’m saying is that I find it rude for a man to fool around with me and NOT shoot a load. I take offense to that.” The first biddy said.
“I’m trying to tell you, not all relationships are the same! In a vanilla world, with Alpha males, you’ll usually get mutually satisfying orgasms. In the world of the submissive male, his partners orgasm IS his orgasm. He doesn’t physically need to cum in order to be fulfilled.”
“Josh, Josh, Josh…..” Biddy number 2 shook her head. “Do you know how ridiculous you sound?” “What man doesn’t want to cum when fooling around with his girl?”
“Oh my gawd! Will you listen to me. I’m trying to tell you that sub-miss-ive men don’t always need to cum. In some cases they are NOT allowed to cum. Sometimes their junk is locked up and they can’t even get a hard-on TO cum!” I was getting a bit heated.
My Owner was snickering into her glass as she noticed the look on my face. The biddies were all cackling too. This was a planned hit job and I fell for it like a fool.
I looked around at them all, “What’s so funny?!”
“Josh, you are just to easy to get riled up sometimes.” Biddy 1 said. “You need to relax. I would love to have a submissive in my life that would be kept chaste for me. It’s actually a hot fantasy to tease a man and forbid him to cum. I’d love the begging he would do before I kicked him out of bed.” She seemed sincere as she smiled at me.
I never truly knew how much they heard from my Owner. I’m sure they knew more than I thought they knew. We don’t parade our lifestyle in front of people though, so it’s sometimes hard to gauge when they are messing around with me. That particular night, they got the better of me. It was kind of funny in retrospect though. I really did start to get spun up, but they exposed their game way before I really got going.
The whole reason for this story did get me thinking though. Do people in the vanilla world really think that those of us in the lifestyle are just a bit “kinky”? I often wonder if they truly understand the emotional surrender that accompanies a serious D/s relationship. So I say, “Why can’t they understand?”