Happy Lock-Tober

game-of-chastity

Hi Friends!

It’s time to celebrate another chastity tradition, Locktober.  In honor of this annual event I’m putting one of my theme appropriate titles on sale for the first week.

Just .99 cents.  “The Game of Chastity”, one of the earlier pieces in my series, and a true favorite of mine.

Thanks again for your support!  Enjoy your month safely locked away!  NO CHEATING!

All the best,

-Josh

Amazon US:  https://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&page=1&rh=n%3A133140011%2Cp_27%3AJosh%20N.%20Covington

Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Kindle-Store-Josh-N-Covington/s?ie=UTF8&page=1&rh=n%3A341677031%2Cp_27%3AJosh%20N.%20Covington

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Why Can’t They Understand?

Hi Friends and Happy New Year!

In typical fashion, I got into another heated debate with some of my Owner’s friends over the holiday’s.  Some of her friends are so thick-headed that it drives me crazy.  Seriously.  I don’t mind chatting with the vanilla crowd, heck, I even love twisting their minds to see things through a different prism!  What I can’t tolerate is simple minded people that will not listen to what you say.  I should say, they hear you, but they don’t LISTEN to you.

OK.  So here’s the scene, and eventual “discussion” that I had.We’re in a pub, drinking, chatting, and generally being festive.  At the point where everyone starts to feel that familiar little alchohol buzz the conversation almost always turns to sex.  This time was no different, only I was outnumbered by her friends 3 to 1.  There was another guy there, but he’s a quiet lurker type and provided me no back-up at all. Ha Ha Ha…

As most of you know by now, I’m a HUGE orgasm denial and chastity proponent.  I have been for most of my adult life.  Knowing this, these bitties decided to egg me on into a debate over the topic.  I’ll try to describe the back and forth a bit, and hopefully you’ll get the idea.  It was me versus my Owner’s 3 friends.  She just sat there and watched with a big smile on her face as I verbally jousted with these chicks…..LOL

In no particular order the first bitty says, “As a woman, I find it nice that my efforts in bed are acknowleged with my lover having an orgasm.  It lets me know that I’ve done a good job.”

“I agree.  If I’m putting the work in to give my man a great blow-job, I want him to show me that it was appreciated by cumming hard.” Said bitty three.

At that point, I took a swig of my beer,  sat the bottle down, and said, “I know what your trying to do.  You won’t get me into this debate again.”

“C’mom Josh, you have to admit that mutual satisfaction is better for the relationship than just one of you getting to cum all the time.  Right?”

“Wrong,” I said.  Witholding ones orgasm is a sign of respect, and reverence to honoring ones partners wishes.  You can’t compare the two.”

I didn’t mean to get caught up in their stupid game, but I felt the need to stand up for the submissive lifestyle.  It’s just who I am.  I knew right away that was their game too.  All 3 of those hags smirked at each other as soon as the words came out of my mouth.

“I can compare anything that I want to Josh.  If I’m riding your cock and you don’t cum, I’m going to be insulted.  I’d feel like you didn’t find me attractive.”  The second hag said.

“Listen, the lifestyle in the Dominant and submissive world can NOT be compared to the expectations in the vanilla world.  It’s completely different standards and rules of intimacy.”  I took a long draw on my beer to try and get some silence between us all.

“That’s not true at all Josh.  If I’m your wife, and I want you to cum, you will.  Otherwise, you’d be insulting me.”  The first biddy chimed in.

“Again, if you were in a vanilla relationship that would most likely be true.  But if you are submissive, and you are told NOT to cum, you don’t cum.  Why is this even a topic?”

“It’s a topic because every man I’ve known has usually shot a load every time we fooled around.  What I’m saying is that I find it rude for a man to fool around with me and NOT shoot a load.  I take offense to that.” The first biddy said.

“I’m trying to tell you, not all relationships are the same!  In a vanilla world, with Alpha males, you’ll usually get mutually satisfying orgasms.  In the world of the submissive male, his partners orgasm IS his orgasm.  He doesn’t physically need to cum in order to be fulfilled.”

“Josh, Josh, Josh…..” Biddy number 2 shook her head.  “Do you know how ridiculous you sound?”  “What man doesn’t want to cum when fooling around with his girl?”

“Oh my gawd!  Will you listen to me.  I’m trying to tell you that sub-miss-ive men don’t always need to cum.  In some cases they are NOT allowed to cum.  Sometimes their junk is locked up and they can’t even get a hard-on TO cum!”  I was getting a bit heated.

My Owner was snickering into her glass as she noticed the look on my face.  The biddies were all cackling too.  This was a planned hit job and I fell for it like a fool.

I looked around at them all, “What’s so funny?!”

“Josh, you are just to easy to get riled up sometimes.” Biddy 1 said.  “You need to relax.  I would love to have a submissive in my life that would be kept chaste for me.  It’s actually a hot fantasy to tease a man and forbid him to cum.  I’d love the begging he would do before I kicked him out of bed.” She seemed sincere as she smiled at me.

I never truly knew how much they heard from my Owner.  I’m sure they knew more than I thought they knew.  We don’t parade our lifestyle in front of people though, so it’s sometimes hard to gauge when they are messing around with me.  That particular night, they got the better of me.  It was kind of funny in retrospect though.  I really did start to get spun up, but they exposed their game way before I really got going.

The whole reason for this story did get me thinking though.  Do people in the vanilla world really think that those of us in the lifestyle are just a bit “kinky”?  I often wonder if they truly understand the emotional surrender that accompanies a serious D/s relationship.  So I say, “Why can’t they understand?”

Cheers All!

-Josh

 

 

 

What Does It Mean?

Hi Friends,

I’ve been wondering about something.  Like any “vanilla” relationship, a true D/s relationship is bound to have it’s ups and downs, right?  I’m speaking purely in the sexual sense.

Generally, there comes a point in a relationship when you’re both so comfortable with each other that sex takes a backseat to just living life, doesn’t it?  I know there are all kinds of variables like kids, in-laws, advancing your professional education, family matters, etc… Is it fair to our sexual relationship that we let it rest while we go about our other business?  I don’t think it should be, but inevitably we all fall out of that chase for the ultimate attention of our partner, right?

I know I’m asking a few too many questions here, but I honestly don’t have a great answer. We were out with friends a few weeks back and this topic came up.  We all agreed that there tends to be a lull in most relationships, but we couldn’t agree on if that should be accepted as normal, or if we should keep fighting the good fight to keep sex alive and well.

I’m stuck on the fence between it meaning that we are getting lazy for taking sex for granted, and the sexual slow down being a normal, comfortable, settling in of a relationship.  There are so many factors that influence our daily lives that it really is hard to discern the difference sometimes.

This discussion has become an ongoing, circular, debate with my friends.  I just wanted to throw it out to my cyber friends to see if anyone has had a similar discussion and what, if any, conclusions you may have come to.

Thanks for taking some time out of your day to read this!  Cheers Friends!!

-Josh

 

 

 

 

What Did I do Wrong Now?

Here I am, minding my own business last weekend, the next thing I know I’m getting yelled at.  I looked up at this screaming lunatic and all I said was, “what did I do wrong now?”  That was it.  She went ballistic.

“What do you mean what did you do wrong?  Everything.  You did everything wrong!”

“Huh?” Was my reaction.  But that wasn’t the correct one.

“You smug little bastard!  I asked you, no, TOLD you to be ready to go out shopping with me.  Are you ready?  You don’t look ready to me!”

I had been up late Saturday night doing, lets just say, stuff, and I completely forgot about the plans that were made to go out Sunday morning.  That’s not a good thing for a submissive to do.  Forget things that is.

“You will pay for this Josh!” She said through gritted teeth.

She NEVER uses my name, never.  So, much like a little kid, I knew she was really mad.

“Get your ass ready, now!  You have 5 minutes!”

I had never scrambled so fast in my life.  I knew when she was angry with me in a real sense, not just the make pretend sense that sometimes accompanies a punishment session.  So, it followed that I was terrified of what she may do when we got home.

I really did forget.  I was just tired, and kind of had my heart set on a lazy Sunday.  I was wrong.  I tried to apologize all afternoon but that just seemed to make it worse.  She was upset that I didn’t put her needs first as I should have.  She was right in being mad at me.

So, later that evening, after a quite intense punishment session, I was informed that my chastity cage would be put back on, and would remain on for the forseeable future.

Let this be a lesson fellow subs, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, forget anything that you are told to do.  My Owner tends to be a bit compulsive at times, so if everything isn’t “just so”, I can get seriously messed up.

I tend to be laid back about this kind of thing after so many years of living the lifestyle, but I can’t help laughing at my stupidity this time.  I guess it just goes to show you that no matter how experienced you think you are, there’s always a new lesson waiting around the corner.

Have fun friends!  Cheers!

-Josh

 

Purpose and Meaning

On the heels of my newest release, I thought it nice to follow up with a thought that I’ve shared on several occasions.  It pertains to the punishment phase in a D/s relationship.

Remember, I’m a proponent of “lifestyle” relationships, that is, my focus is on the 24/7  Dominant/submissive coupling.  The folks that like to get kinky once in awhile may benefit from my ramblings, but generally I’m speaking to the more involved D/s couples (gender does not matter).

With that in mind, when it’s time to punish your submissive, always make it have a purpose.  Was a rule broken, was disrespect shown, are you using the time to reinforce certain behaviors, etc….

In order to truly “train” your submissive the goal is to correct, or modify, something.  Otherwise, you’d just be punishing your sub for the heck of it.  That may be the intent of course, but I think that there needs to be a more meaningful reason involved.  At least let your submissive think there’s more to it than there may be.  That adds to the drama, and by a sub’s nature, the pleasure of accepting your punishment.

Here’s an example of what I mean.  Last week my Owner lost music on her cell phone.  I had nothing to do with it at all.  However, she convinced me, through punishment, that if she was upset, ultimately it was my fault because my job is to keep her happy.  She gave meaning and purpose to an otherwise pointless punishment.  She was able to continue her training of me, while adding some spice to it.

Hopefully, we all remember that it’s easy to get relaxed in a relationship.  Sometimes things just become routine.  If you try to give meaning, and purpose to your D/s interactions, your relationship may stay more fresh and interesting.

Cheers All!

-Josh

Twitter

Hey All,

I finally got around to setting up a Twitter account.  It’s @ JNCovington if you’re interested.

Have fun!  I hope you’re enjoying my latest book,

Be the Domina, Taming Your submissive.

Thanks for all of your support my friends!

-Josh

 

 

A NEW RELEASE

Hi Friends!

My newest book is now available!  This book is a real hands-on guide for those of you working towards, or already in a Dominant-submissive relationship.  You’ll love the contributions from Ms. Kari.  She is truly one of a kind!

Thanks to all of my lifestyle friends that pushed me towards putting in print the topics that I’ve been discussing for years.  This book is a bit of a departure for me, but it was a labor of love from the start.  I hope you like it!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LKC8TI6

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Taming Your submissive

We are Everywhere

Hi Friends!  I trust you’re all having a nice summer.  I just got back from a vacation with my Owner and wanted to share a story from my trip with you all.

I actually found this comforting, but you all can be the judges.

We went to Las Vegas for the week.  This WILL NOT be your typical “what stays in Vegas” story.  Trust me.  It’s just a casual encounter that reaffirmed my belief that “we are everywhere”.

Anyway, here we are lounging at the pool.  A typical 100 degree Vegas day.  The next thing I know, my phone is buzzing away.  My Owner, a sexy woman by the way, had texted me to check out the couple that had just arrived in front of us.  She had a feeling that they may be in a D/s relationship as we were.  I texted her back that I would observe them for a bit before I gave her my opinion.

Let me describe this couple to you.  She was most likely late thirties, early fourties, nice body which was obvious that she took care of.  Very fit.  She wore a two piece, thong bikini.  I could tell she had to be confident in order to sport that style at a pool chock full of vacationers, some of them young, and some older.

Her man looked older, husky, not quite as fit, over 6 feet tall.  What caught my attention was his nipple piercings, small hoops, not bars, and his tribal tattoo that encircled his bicep.  It was chain links, not barbed wire, or the typical tribal markings.

So I made mental notes of their appearance, and now I was watching their interaction.  She was constantly giving him instruction as to what to do.  Get more towels, put lotion on my back, get us some drinks, etc… She also seemed to take great delight in noticing others checking her out.  Every once in a while she would smirk at her man as if she knew he was getting jealous.

Mind you, none of these things that I saw would really matter if you noticed them individually, but when I put them all together, I really thought that my Owner was correct in her assumption.

For the next couple of hours I was uncharacteristically interested in the couple in front of us.  A big, manly guy, catering to his attractive, petite wife.  Not out of the ordinary I suppose, but the piercings and tattoo had me suspicious.

Again, there’s nothing out of the ordinary about those things, but together they set my radar off.  I’ve been around this lifestyle for decades, and certain subtle things tend to attract my attention.

After texting back and forth all afternoon, the seemingly boring day at the pool got much more interesting.  My Owner swore they were a D/s couple.  I was leaning that way as well, but I had to be sure.  My Owner dared me to just ask the guy when I had the chance.  I had been treating myself to a few adult beverages and started to get up the courage when the best possible moment struck.  His wife got up to go to the restroom, leaving him to lounge by himself.

I casually made my way over towards him, really about 6 steps, and introduced myself.  I told him that I was here with my wife and we noticed the tattoo on his arm.  I asked him about it, talked a bit about the ones that I had.  I made small talk about his piercings through his nipples.  I then made a remark that made him smile.  I said, and I’ll quote myself, “So I’m just curious, is your marriage vanilla?”

I figured that would be a non-confrontational way of asking a very personal question.  He looked up at me, smiled broadly, and said, “Why would you ask me that?”  I replied, “Well, mine’s not, and you and I seem to have some things in common.”

He looked at me again, looked back at my Owner.  Started chuckling and said, “Dude, you found us out.  We DO have a lot in common.”  He shook  my hand, greeted my wife, and introduced us to his Owner.

It was a fun day, and I’m happy that my radar/spidy sense still works.  It just goes to show you that any normal looking couple can be a little different than you may think.  Life sure is good!

The Two Brain Theory

So I’m sitting on the patio today and was reflecting on a question that came up when I met up with some friends in the lifestyle.  We were chatting about the different tones and cadences that a true Dominant might use during a session with their submissive.  Mind you, it doesn’t really matter if it’s a male sub, or a female one.  Anyway, it got me thinking about the brain of a submissive, and how it’s wired differently than most.

I’ve searched the web for theories and really didn’t find much in the way of legitimate studies that I agreed with.  I think a controlled study by professionals is a bit lacking as it doesn’t really recreate the dynamic that occurs on a daily basis between the D/s partners.

Speaking strictly from my own experience and travels, I’ve developed what I think could be going on in the brain of a submissive.  I call it the two brain theory.  I’ll try to keep it simple, since my attention span can be short..Ha Ha Ha

Here goes:  Normally, I can have a conversation about anything with my Dom.  We can have a nice back and forth discussion about lifestyle ideas, bedroom play, really just about anything.  It is in these times I use what I call my “normal brain”.  That brain is rational, thoughtful, analytical, uses judgement and reasoning skills etc…  Like most of us I suppose.

However, when my Dom changes her tone, her cadence, her demeaner into more of the lifestyle partner, my normal brain gets short-circuited and my “submissive brain” takes the lead.  That brain is switched on by certain key words, phrases, or actions.  All of a sudden my mind is singularly focused on doing whatever makes my Dom happy.  All reasoning ability is overridden, there is no time to analyze different approaches.  The submissive brain shuts down everything that would cause opposition to my Dom’s desires.

Here’s a perfect example.  This just recently happened which made me think about this particular subject as well.  We’re having lunch and chatting about the news of the world, and she, without any preface, randomly said, “that junk between your legs really is useless to me”.  I paused, and tried to buy time to respond by acting like I didn’t quite hear her correctly. “Huh?” is all I could muster.

“You heard me.  I own that worthless package between your legs.  It’s mine and don’t you forget it.”

That was it.  The submissive brain surged forward, nudging the normal brain out of the way, and without even a thought, the words, “Yes Ma’am” came out of my mouth.  In that split second our normal, everyday, conversation turned into another lifestyle scene.  She smirked, made flirty eye contact, and continued with our conversation.  The submissive brain stayed on high alert until the normal brain assured it that all was clear.

My point is, there are obviously two forces at play here.  A true submissive, not the weekend warrior “lets role play in the bedroom” variety, but a real, bonofide submissive definitely has a switching mechanism in their brain.  I’m going to keep track of this a bit more.  I haven’t really addressed this in my writing, but it is interesting enough that I’d like to at least chat with the community and compare notes.

Stay safe and have fun with your summer!!

Cheers all!

 

What A Great Feeling It Is

Hello Friends and Readers,

I just stopped by to shed some insight into a question that I sometimes get from guys that are new to chastity, or are thinking about it.  It usually comes up when I give a talk, but recently there have been a few e-mails from “on the fence submissives” that are a bit timid when it comes to locking their junk away.

Alright, so you want to be put into chastity.  Whether it’s on your own, by a lover, a friend, an Owner, or a key-holding service will honestly determine the level of anxiety that you will face.  There are certainly different psychological effects depending on where the key resides, and how often your little johnson gets released.  I’ll briefly describe what it feels like to a first timer in chastity, and then address what I mean by “levels of anxiety”.

OK, so you’ve figured out how the ‘ol twig and berries fit into the contraption that will now act as it’s jailer.  Fantastic!  Now you can put the key in a safe place and wait for the release that may or may not be coming anytime soon.  I guess that depends on your circumstances.  What I mean is, are you self locking, being locked by a lover, being locked for fun or punishment, being locked while your partner goes out of town for a few days, sending the key to a service for a pre-determined amount of time?  You see, it all depends on the purpose of putting your man-meat into jail.  Each purpose will increase, or in some cases, decrease your anxiety.

So here it is.  You look down, see the cage tightly snugged over your junk and wonder what the big deal is all about.  This doesn’t seem bad, right?  Ha Ha my newbie friends.  At some point you’re going to need to pee, at some point you’ll get a chubby, or even full on wood.  What about other people noticing a strange bulge in your pants?  Have you thought about that stuff?

Easy enough my friends.  Of course I’m an old pro at this, my longest lock up was about 13 months (yes, 13 was a specific number that She thought was cool).  Again, what I’m going to write next is really directed at a basic level of chastity.  Your situation will probably vary depending again on who holds the key.

Bathroom.  To pee you really need to sit down on the toilet.  There are several psychological reasons why this is important to your Dominant Owner, but in general aside from ease of use, and privacy, a man having to sit and pee is just submissive in nature all by itself.  I’ve tried to stand and pee into a urinal while trying to aim the cage, but there have been mixed results.

What to do about getting some form of erection?  My best advice, deal with it.  I personally relish in the discomfort that goes with a cramped and crushed erection.  It is a constant reminder that I’m no longer in control of my man parts.  That’s what we all want right?  You’re just going to have to find a way to block out the pinching and sting that may come along with your skin trying to push through the cage.  Remember, it’s that feeling of helplessness that will turn your Dominant on.  They want to know that you’re in constant agony, it reminds you all day and night of who’s in charge.

This brings me to another thought.  The first few nights that you’re wearing the cage you may actually suffer panic attacks.  Don’t worry, it’s normal.  I vividly remember my first morning when I woke up.  Of course I had morning wood, and the pressure of it trying to get out of the cage woke me up.  I briefly panicked until I remembered why I was locked down.  This happened a few times in my first week, but then my body got used to the feeling of being blocked and the panic attacks stopped altogether.

The last thing I’ll mention is worrying about people noticing your cage under your clothes.  For me it was NEVER an issue.  I wore pleated pants to work, and even in jeans it was not noticeable.  I think the only time I really noticed anything that looked odd was when I wore jeans and sat with my legs apart.  Even then, unless someone knows what they are looking for, or are just outright staring at your crotch, you’ll be fine.

And here’s a real life example of one experience I had.  Me and a friend went to a gentleman’s club (strip bar if you want to be honest).  He bought me a lap dance from one of the entertainer’s (strippers).  As she gyrated and rubbed herself on me, not once did she hesitate and wonder what that hard bulge in my pants was.  I’m sure she was flattered that I was so hard, for so long with her.  Ha Ha Ha

Anyway, my last word for you is regarding the levels of anxiety.  I would say they range from mild to sheer terror.  Here’s what I mean.  If you’re locking yourself up, or just messing around in the bedroom with your partner, the level is low.  You know you can get unlocked whenever you want to.

If you are dabbling with D/s or Femdom, it could be moderate, depending on how serious your playing at it. It might be a fun adventure for you, but generally you know it may last a week or less.  If you use a key-holder service, generally the level is moderate.  They may hold the key for a set mount of time, but you’re still in relative control over all other aspects of your sex life.

Now the level really cranks if you are in a formal, or will be in a formal D/s arrangement.  This is when another claims Ownership of you, well at least your sexual self.  They may make it deliberately difficult by teasing you, taunting you, and threatening to never release you.  It is this form of lock-up that will keep you fairly anxious, and will ultimately lead you to do anything that your Owner asks of you.  Those lock-ups may last months, or more depending on your relationship.

Like always, I can write much more about this topic.  I hate trying to compress all of my knowledge, but I must.  Feel free to ask me anything if you think my experiences will be of use to you.  You can always read my books for more detailed chastity scenes  (shameless plug) too.  LOL

Take care all!  Thanks for reading my submissive Husband series!  I truly appreciate it!

-Josh